Three out of
Five stars
Running time:
113 mins
Badly plotted sequel that sidelines Snipes but remains watchable thanks to serviceable action sequences, some witty dialogue and the performances of Reynolds and Posey.
David S. Goyer was the screenwriter on both previous Blade films and with Blade: Trinity, he finally gets to stake his claim on the coveted director’s hat. Unfortunately, he clearly isn’t up to this multi-tasking lark, because in terms of both plot and action sequences, Blade: Trinity isn’t a patch on either of its prequels. That said, it remains watchable thanks to an amusing script and colourful performances by its supporting cast.
Plot Practically Non-Existent Plot
The plot is practically non-existent: some Evil Vamp Types, led by Danica Talos (Parker Posey) and some wrestler (“Triple H”, it says here) resurrect Dracula (now called "Drake", played by Dominic Purcell) and keep hold of him for their own (unexplained) nefarious purposes. Well, they have two plans, actually - first they set the FBI on Blade by tricking him into killing a human and then filming it. Woo. This is a bit stupid really, because the FBI barely feature in the film after an early raid on Blade HQ in which Whistler (Kris Kristofferson) dies for the second time. Stupid Whistler – not content with dying once already, he survives countless vamp attacks and then gets taken out by an FBI bullet. Worst. Sidekick. Ever.
Anyway, Blade gets broken out of jail by "The NightStalkers", Hannibal King (Ryan Reynolds) and Whistler’s daughter, Abigail (Jessica Biel), just as the Evil Vamp Types show up. Lots of fighting then ensues before the inevitable Big Showdown, in which you can probably guess who wins. And that’s it.
The dialogue is extremely witty, with Reynolds nabbing most of the best lines and displaying a talent for creative swearing that would make the writers of TV’s Peep Show blush. As a result, Reynolds is the best thing in the film, though Parker Posey is good campy value and it’s nice to see that someone’s finally had the sense to cast her as a vampire. As for Jessica Biel, she looks gorgeous and gets a few cool moments (as well as a pointlessly chaste gratuitous shower scene) but her character is severely underwritten.
Blade As Second Banana
The main problem with the film is that Blade is more or less reduced to Second Banana status in his own movie. He's still cool as hell, but he's under-used and doesn't get anywhere near as many great lines as Reynolds does – unsurprisingly, Snipes spends the whole movie looking like his heart isn’t in it. Secondly, the plot is badly thought out - the vamps don't have any discernible master-plan (the discovery of a human blood farm is promptly forgotten) and there's a complete lack of tension throughout.
The film is also hampered by its constant blasting "rawk" soundtrack. Worse still, the film features some horrendous product placement for MP3 players - there's an excruciating bit where King tells Blade that Abigail is "making track-lists to hunt by, sort of like her own soundtrack", although he does follow that up by saying, "Me? I'm a David Hasselhoff man..."
The fight sequences are serviceable, though not in the league of Blade II, where Del Toro didn't feel the need for flashy editing and let the fights happen in single takes. It's also extremely violent, although not especially gory.
In short, Blade: Trinity lacks the bite of the two previous films, but it’s still worth seeing if you lower your expectations. Besides, it’s hard to hate a film that features a character watching Incubus (William Shatner’s legendary Esperanto movie).